tired to be a kind-hearted person

why would i become a kindhearted person??
why been fooled many times when they betrayed you each time??
why be nice to people when people laugh at you?
why become generous when there's no one appreciates it??
why become humble when there's nobody notice that?
why always smiles when it's so hard to get a smile back??
why become a kind person when you're the one people would blamed for??
why help them when they stab you in the back??
why been sincere when they misunderstand you??
why say thank you when they do not care about you at all???
why work so hard when you are not invisible at all??
why been supportive when your own sister don't speak a word to you??
i want to fly,
fly up high, dun want to think about anything,
cheerfully, freely,..
if only i had doraemon...
should i be killed??
'thank you', arigatou', kamsahamnida, terima kaseh,
why it is so hard to hear the word?? is it so hard to pronounce it??
what would happen if i dont exist??
would their life becomes better??