perhatian

attention please. i'm gonna stop this blog. i know it doesnt really matter to you guys. but just to let you know. so you wouldnt waste your time open this crap. plus, its only four people who actually read this trash. so, i wouldnt mind. sayonara. this is my present for you guys who are willingly read this thing. thnk guys.

p/s: have you realized that there were sooo many grammatical mistakes i made since i started this blog? naahhh... who cares. its only 4 people.

japan

everyone knows that i;m obsessed with japan. i'm soo into it. just say anything about japan, you can see my eyes are shining bright. it started to like japan when i watched this anime when i was in standard four. i just decided that i want to go to japan. see? i made up my mind since that long time ago. then, i saw my first brother (all because of him, including how i first read manga) were studying japanese. he took japanese language in his university. he bought a book. every night i would sneak into his room and took that book. i learned japanese language. i learned how to write katakana and hiragana but, still not kanji. kanji is hard! that is why i could read and write a little bit katakana. i learnt how to speak japanese, i watched all the animes and japanese drama and movies listen to their talking. that is why i learned their culture that every summer they would have festivals. they would wear yukata. that i know that yukata and kimono is different things. they would play hanabi that is firework at night. that they have tea ceremony where people would drink green tea which is bitter. and when you want to drink that, it has its own rules. the way to drink it, the way to hold the cup and the way to pour it. and i know that flower arranging is their art. that every time when cherry is blossom they would have festivals named hanami. hana means flower. they would picnic under the trees to view the scenery. and it is a tradition for high school boys to give a button from their school uniform to the girls they like on their graduation day. you can learn it by read it somewhere or google it, but for me, i've learned it from every movie and drama i watched. that is why some people dont understand how on earth could i understand japanese drama and movies because they are so slow and sometimes people who watched it didnt understand a bit. i listen to their songs. that is why, sometimes i can understand a little bit of the song. some people shocked when i can memorize the lyrics and say it word by word. why i prefer japanese songs that others.. i learnt from it. i know that sora mean sky, tomodachi means friend, nakama means comrade, kazoku means family, okasan, otosan, onesan, obasan, oniisan, what do you think when you saw these words in my contact number in my phone? i know that they also have informal and formal way to talk. that i know all words ended up with -shita is the polite words to say to people they respect. that they also have slang words such as ore which means i for boys and kuso is literally means damn it. that they say gomen ne instead of gomennasai. that omae is the rude way to say you. baka is stupid. and every sentence ended with janai is the negation sentence and every sentence ended with desu ka or ka is the question sentence. there still so much things that i dont know. i want to learn more. i bought a 'how to learn japanese' book. i make my own dictionary and write the new words i learnt in it. (if only i could do the same thing to english language!!). i want to go there. at least once. my dream is to go there. i wanted to further my study there. its really rare to find someone who would have the same interest. and if i found him/her, i might fall for her/him. when i was in form three, i found this girl. her name is najwa. she is my physic's teacher daughter. her sister went to japan to study language and her brother went to korea for engineering. i was interested with her sister. i made friend with her. all her siblings are clever and she said that she wasnt. that's ridiculous because.. i'll tell you more after this. her father always visited her sister in japan. and at that time i was so jealous. he always watch japanese drama and write quotes from the drama. (omg! i wish my dad as cool as hers! fyi, the quotes from japanese drama are meaningful. they always give you spirit. also, i did that too! write out quotes). so, this najwa made interest with this japanese stuff. we always talked about this. everytime! one day, we made a promise,  to further our study there or maybe south korea. so, we had to work harder. since that time, we got our pmr result, she got 7 As! she could get in to the third science class, i was in the fourth class. 2 years passed, when the spm result were out, she got 11As..! she applied for the scholarship. she was the only student in our batch that applied for a scholarship to JAPAN. she told me when she got the interview. she told me when she got the scholarship. she told me when she was at the intec in uitm shah alam. and last two month she texted me "hey, i'm in japan now." i'm upset because it wasnt me. she kept the promise and i'm not.

just now, i stalked someone's fb and her friend is najwa's friend. they're studying there. i saw some najwa's pictures and some of them wrote in japan. she and her friends commented in japanese language. najwa and her sister communicate in japanese language! how i wish i know what they are talking about. isk..

next semester would be really hard for me. all the heavy subjects! and taekwando 2.. oh my gosh! we had sparring! i'm afraid! but, still, i'm waiting for it. why? because i'm taking japanese. the only thing that makes my university life meaningful. i dont really care if i dont have friends in the class (of all my friends, i'm the only one who are taking this class). its okay because i study the thing that i really like. i hope i will enjoy this class. i waited for japanese since semester one!  

btw, do you know that japan is very popular with pornography?? and do you know that when japanese people go to onsen which is hot spring, they cannot wear any cloth even a single thread??

fruit basket

recently, my friend asked me about anime. so, i suddenly wanted to write this thing.

fruit basket or furuba is one of the most like anime i've ever watched. i know i know, i've told you already! haha. but, here's the thing, this anime is not like any other animes i watched. this fruit basket is really something. you know, every episode will make someone who watched it touched by its content if you thoroughly enjoying this anime and manga. its like, everything happens in our life and fruit basket says what exactly we want to hear from other people. its like giving advice to people who had experience the same situation like what furuba's characters had. and it really stained in my heart, everything in fruit basket. say i am sentimental or what, but, that exactly me. i like to listen and watch something meaningful that make your heart thumps violently even for a second. same goes to the songs i listened to. somehow, takaya natsuki seems to know how to come out with good ideas to create a very great story. the soundtrack for this anime are sang by ritsuko okazaki. she was not a beautiful young singer, but, she had a beautiful voice that can touch people. the furuba's songs were written by her. she died at the age of 44 in 2004 from a septic shock as a result of septicemia. (i googled this thing and found out it is a disease where the blood was infected by some pathogenic organism resulted the malfunction of some organs). she was unable to speak her last word and left her work unfinished. before that, she was diagnosed by a stomach cancer. when you listen to furuba's opening theme's lyrics, titled 'for fruit basket', you will know it has something to do with her life and somehow, it suits the furuba's storyline. i dont know, maybe it had nothing to do with her life, but, i want to believe that it was from her true feeling, like she wrote that when she knew death was coming. the lyrics "let stay together itsumo", which means 'lets always stay together". its like she didnt want to part with her friends or maybe this is only my fantasy assumption. still, it has meaning in it. (that I was the person who dont want to part with my friends). all the characters in fruit basket has their own dark past which each of them want to get rid of it. but, fruit basket teach us how to face those dark bastards and become a strong person.

fruits basket is actually a kids' game played by a group of people, one person has to be chosen to be a basket that will call out fruits' names. other people who become fruits can join him/her. and thats the fun. (its not fun at all!) fruit basket tell the story about a girl who chose to become an onigiri and was isolated by other kids because onigiri is not a type of fruit and dont deserve to be with delicious fruits. she waited and waited to be called. it didnt happen. but, she still smile. several years later, she found out that there were some people out there who like and choose onigiri instead of delicious fruits.

tohru, a simple minded and kindhearted high school girl who always smile
 (to be continued- my sister wants to use this netbook. )

bangang

you asshole! i still want to work there!! stop it!! it makes me wanna puke!
Arrgghhh!!
dun call me that!!!!! because i'm not your &^(*%%$ princess!!!!!!!!

mistakes

 ok yes it's a mistake. i know it's a mistake but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake, because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say yeap that was a mistake. so, really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you go to your whole life not really knowing something is a mistake or not, and damn it i've made no mistakes! i've done all of this my life, my relationship, my career mistakefree.. does any of this make sense to you-lily aldrin (how i met your mother)


u never knew that something is a mistake, unless u make the mistake and then, u will know that was a mistake. just now, someone told me the same thing like what ckgu Sariah told me two years ago. how many times i think back, and ask the same question over and over again, "is this a mistake??" every time i went to 'that' place, i saw them, questions played in my mind. "why did i choose this path?" "is this the right decision?" "i supposed to be wearing it" "who am i supposed to be if i choose that path?".. if i choose the first chance, i could be with R now.. when the second chance came, if i used the second chance, i could be with princess right now. we could know each other. think of it, i asked for the best from Him, He gave the best. this is might be the fate.. if i took the first chance, i might not be in my lovely KMKN, i might not know princess, i might not create those great memories there, i might not be so close with R, i might not still be in touch with F. those memories wont be in my mind. i might not know S, saida, siti and everyone else in KmkN. the second chance?? i dun know yet what will i miss if i take the second chance. maybe, my 3years future me, would know thw answer, perhaps when future me read this thing, she will give the answer. and i really wish the answer is " its okay leka, that was not a mistake".


 "But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not."
(Al-Baqarah:216)

good music

I wanna ask u sumthing. What d u think of a good song?? everyone has their own thought about good music, isnt it? well, I have my own perception of  good music. But also, a very very bad music. Some of them have a very good voice and good background music but the lyrics, so damn like hell. Not like hell as exactly hell, but, badly like hell. Some of them have bad music, bad lyrics and perhaps bad voice. Dude, who wants to listen to “hey, siapa nama”, “haa haa.. xtahu”.. or  “dj bukalah lagu cinta dedikasi wtf” (all the same species a.k.a the same lame singer).  Guys,come on,! What in the damnation is that suppose to mean?? They dun even have a meaning in it! How on earth people can listen to those songs??!  The other, “kita berkenalan di laman muka buku”.. eerrrrr… that was just as lame as Rebecca black’s song! I dun understand why there are people who even listen to these songs!! Okay, at least she has a good voice.  I’m not prejudice here. i do respect your taste of music.there are also English songs that cannot be called song. For example, boom boom pow. Whaaat..???! u cant just go to the music appreciation class and says ‘the song that gve me inspiration is the song from adam-hai siapa nama because this song is fucking inspired me!’ come, on! Get a grip  guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! U cant even appreciate sngs because of the damn u cant even listen to good songs! u apperiate a song when the lyrics means something for you. well yeah, you like that hai siapa nama song because the lyrics is telling about u and your boyfriend's story. or you just like the song of 'kita berkenalan di laman MUKABUKU" because you have found your soul mate or your true love in facebook a.k.a MUKABUKU..?? pfffttt..! i dun wanna say bad things because like i said, its karma. i'm afraid itwill happen to me. please dont. i dun want to seem pathetic or desperate. 

what i wanna say here is nothing to do with good music. its just a random thing i wanna tell you. recently, i've found one band which is really really unique in their OWN way. they might not have a very great song but what makes they different is their guts to do whatever they want. they dun copy some korean band and admit they are better. they have their own unique and different images. there are some of this kind of band that i admire very much.  like, L'Arc en~ciel (untill this day, i dun know how to pronounce it!), gackt, xjapan, the brilliant green, dir en grey, lmc, more importantly, malice mizer (argghhhhh!!). lmc have their own style which is punk, i dunno wat is it, they are like crazy happy teenagers. wearing crazy stuff with cap and long sleeve shirt. i like them. and malice mizer, god, this is really really cool. they wear cosplays. gothic-lolita..! who would do like they did?? how they thnik of human(?) is really cool.  i'll show you their pics. 

copied from wikipedia:

 Formed by Mana and Közi, the band's name stands for "malice and misery", extracted from "nothing but a being of malice and misery" — their reply to the question "what is human?". Their earlier music and themes were characterized by their strong French and classical influences, later moving away from deliberate French romanticism and incorporating Gothic-Victorian aspects after several tragedies befell the band.

Malice Mizer is as famous for their music as for their live shows, featuring lavish historical costumes and stage sets, short silent theatre pieces preluding various songs, whimsical dance routines, and even a particularly notable instance of the vocalist descending to Earth (the stage) as a fallen angel, only to ascend again at the end of the concert. Throughout their history, the band has gone through several different lineups and three drastic image changes.

 see that blue little cute girl??? 

dun be shocked, but, she's a dude. his name is mana. hehe.

okay, we come back to our topic, i found this unique band, named SUG. sug is a band with a unique image that is girls. they are guys! they dress like transvestite. seriously. with the beautiful lolita-like dress with small diadem (they still wearing their pants!), and put on their make up.. gosh.. what is very interesting is, their songs are not girlish kpop song. they are a punk rock band actually. their voices are not like Alesana's hoarse, but, i dunno, with the song, and their image, its kinda fit in.. they try to create their own image, at least. not copying people. people say they are gay. haha. funny, u know how i feel about gay guys (gays which take the man's role, not the transvestite), i do fond of them.ngahahaah.

alrite, this is the only song they dress like this. the other songs, normal like any other punk rock band. ok, i admit it. it looks like some horny gays doing some sissy things which makes u wanna puke. but, still cool.

btw, there is somewhere out there, a band who uses BLEACH cosplay..! that is so awesome! but, until today, i do not know this band's name. 

14 may 2011

i'm no good in writing. i sucked at it. i dun have enough vocabs. i mean, i cant picture you about how am i feeling or what am i seeing. what am i going to write is incredibly beautiful, but i cant picture it with words. u have to experience it yourself.

 THIS ISHOW LIFE SHOULD BE

14 may 2011

Am I dreaming rite now?

No you’re not.

Welcome to langkawi.

3hours earlier…

Lets go to langkawi!

What?? Are you kidding?? Now?? Are you dreaming or what?

We dun bring any single cloth, not even panties!

I’m dead serious. No kiddin.

in our ferry

In langkawi. That nite, after checked in the motel, we went to dinner.

the wind from sea, the white sand, the breeze, the scenery.

What is it?

The smoked fish (ikan siakap bakar 700g), thai original spicy tomyam chicken, kailan salted fish with laychee juice.pheww…

Tell me what is it.

Laughing, crying, enjoying, talking about the old memories. With my two best friend who sat beside me.

This is life. Nice. Really.

haha!! nicest ever!

The next day.

This is my diary-->we walked along the beach. We laughed. Talked. Doing stupid fishy things such as write out our nme on the sand. Haha. I know its childish, but, hey,I loved it. We missed R though. Talking and talking and talking. How i bloody loved this thing. Thought it was a wrong decision to cme to langkawi. but,hell no. We happened to bump into a sudan family. I knew we had to talk in  English. So, I went away. Run..! suddenly F called me. Gosh I knew it, I coudnt avoid it. Well yeah, F who were talking a lot. She might  speak in broken English, at least she had confidence!! I dun have any confidence any bit. Me?? Silent keep the golden. I didn’t know how to speak in English! U know that! It was a shame. I know it was a shame. U dun have to remind me! (abgngah scolded me for that when I tell them the story. He said : just give the damn to those sudan people you fool! They don’t even know you! Not that they will find and search for you and say ‘this is the girl who doesn’t know how to speak English’! this is your chance to improve your soft skill) he’s rite. I'm just realize it. Well, apparently, they dun even know me at all! Stupid me! when we were searching for a restaurant. we walked along the shops beside the road. we found this one bookstore which says "we buy, we sell". its a second-hand bookstore. god! books with every languages are there. you want, swedish books? japanese? that is the place! tourist sold their books there. every novel you ever think of were there! arghh! its like we can go all over the world in just one place.

Sugary sand motel. Well, its not like any hotel I’ve stayed in before but its nice though pls the fact that we could listen to the sound of the wave, well yeah obviously, the beach is a few steps behind our motel!. Seriously. though I hardly slept because of the freezing air cond. Pfft.. its froze me dead.  

We were planning to see the sunset the next morning. Heheh. You can guess that we missed it. It must be super nice if it really happened.

my besties

Well, the freezing morning. What else you want to do?? Bikini tanning! Ehermm.. I mean to the beach! Playing with the water. Buried me. Well, yeah its nice! I cant picture with words. After that, of course we went to the cable car!!

look at the fog!

its freezing!

The weather up there, pheww, u have to go to feel it urself. Really. Its really super great!!! The hanging bridge.(we had to climb up the stairs first and its really tiring). You should watch S. I know I wasn’t suppose to laugh at her but you should see her. And F, she just couldn’t stay still!! n If we had to live n survive in those thick forest because the cable car is plucked off (sory, couldnt find any better word, suggestion please?) from its rope due to F’s carelessness. I swear I will eat her up.

(^_____^)

U know what, this is my best birthday gift ever in my life. There might be no live played guitar on the twelve o’clock on my phone, played by sum1 else, no express pos reach in front of my house with the the postman give me my birthday gift, there might not be a chocolate cake written “happy birthday zulaikha” from my father. There might not be meal in pizza hut of kfc. Yet this is the most remembered birthday gift for me. Thanks F n S. u've made my day. Love you guys.

P/s: I know you lied to me, but its ok. I dun care because you mentioned my name.. ngee~ I’m happy for you. Really.